My heart is fucked

In the last 8 months I have fallen twice and both times it didn’t work. I thought I was over you and thought that I needed to move on because we would never work again. So that is what I did. I started too see this one guy but he turned out to be an asshole, clearly my rebound. Then there was this other boy who I did really like. He was awesome, made me laugh and we had a lot of fun but as happy as he made me, he wasn’t you.  There was always something missing with them and it was that they were not you.  We have now started to talk again and that makes me so happy.  We have talked and decided that we can make this work, and I believe that 100%.  I’m not going to lie and say that I didn’t like those other 2 boys, because I did. I am still good friends with one but he was nothing compared to you.  I am sorry for everything that has happened in the past and I know we cam make this work and we will be happy again like we used to be <3 <3 <3


<3 You <3

The world is strange…FUCK CANCER!! Please donate to my friend!! :)

In every situation there are can always be different outcomes. When you take a test you can do really well, not so well, or fail. When you go for an interview you can be hired or not. But then there comes cancer.
Today I am very happy to say that one of my friends has beaten cancer. But why does there have to be a bad outcome here. Yes the people that have cancer go though it all when they are fighting the beast, but why do some have to loose. When hearing the good news about my friend I immediately thought about my other friend Heather that sadly past away from Rhabdomyosarcoma in late March.  I am happy about my friends beating it, I really am. It just makes me think, why did Heather have to be one of the ones that didn’t.  She has an amazing family and twin sister that she left behind.  I just hate how Cancer has taken her away from her amazing, loving family.  Her family is participating in ” The Inside Ride Coast to Coast Against Cancer in Support of Children and Families with Cancer” You can go to her twins page and donate to her!! 100% of receipted donations to The Inside Ride & National Inside Ride Tour go to children’s cancer charities.

http://my.e2rm.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=1410443&langPref=en-CA&Referrer=direct%2Fnone

Feels so good!

I am done my first year of university and it feels so good!!! :) I’m ready to now relax and take in summer.  Me and my fam are going to Jamaica for a week, then I get to work at a conservation area all summer and in June I turn….20… AHH!! Its going to be an amazing summer I CAN’T WAIT

Its a sad day when you have to say goodbye to someone.  Sadly that time has come for many of us.  Even though I haven’t seen you a a few years it still brings a tear to my eye thinking about you being gone.  You were the strongest person I have ever known and probably will ever know.  You have been such an inspiration to so many people.  You fought so hard and always had bright spirits.  You are now you are in a better place though,  earth has lost you but heaven has gained another angle.  You will be up there watching over your family and friends.  You left to young, but in those 19 years you spent on earth you lived more then a lot of people do in 70.  You may be gone but you will never be forgotten.  Rest In Paradise Heather - Love you! <3 Sept 16, 1992 – March 31, 2012

I’m sorry
I’m sorry for moving too fast. I’m sorry that I fell so hard for you. I’m sorry for what ever triggered this.
I am still going to give you your amazing birthday present.
I still want to be your friend
and maybe if you sort out what ever is going on we can start this again
or maybe you have lost all feelings for me and that’s something I’m going to have to live with
But if you could maybe let me know when you have everything sorted out so I don’t continue to wait around for something that will never happen
I still really like you
and once again
I’m sorry
<3<3<3

Im sorry

I don’t know what happened. I don’t know what I did. Or maybe its what I didn’t do? I fell for you and thought that you were happy. I’m still crazy about you and I guess that’s why it hurts so much. I had so much fun with you this past month and I will never forget that. I don’t know when things started to change for you but I guess everything happens for a reason. I still want to be friends even though I know how hard that’s going to be for me.
I still like you so much so I’m here if you change your mind

<3<3<3<3<3 

:(

fuck this

Why does this always have to happen when I’m trying to sleep. I do everything the same as every other night. Pj’s on, teeth brushed, all tucked into bed, closing my eyes and then there it is… I’m fucking drowning. I hate when this happens. I just want to sleep. I’m scared shitless and need to talk to someone but its like almost 2am on a Tuesday night… whose up… or whose up that will want to hear about my fucking panic attack. I hate this feeling… fuck this

Drunk talk

Why do I always say the stupidest things when I’m drunk??? I have these thoughts in my brain and when I say them it makes me sounds so ridiculous. I really hope this hasn’t changed anything with us from what I have said. I like you so much and I’m super happy with where we are right now <3<3  You are amazing and I could not have asked for anyone better to be in my life right now <3<3

Miss you

I have not missed someone this much is a long time.

I miss your touch

I miss your voice

I miss the way you smell

I miss how cute you are

I miss the way you look at me

I miss you!

I can not wait to see you <3<3<3

World Cancer Day <3

Today is world cancer day! 
As many of you know my friend Heather Leonardo has cancer. She was diagnosed in May 2011 with Rhabdomyosarcoma. She is the strongest person I know and though all the ups and downs is still keeping her spirits high. She is only 19 and has so much life to live. Please send her your good vibes and prayers <3<3

You can go to this link ”  http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=SARCO ” to light a candle in her group to show her your support or
you can go to this link “http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=wcd ” to light a candle for anyone else you know fighting cancer ♥

Fuck Cancer <3

You

When I am with you my hear skips a beat. You are the most amazing person I have ever met. You put me on cloud 9 and make me forget all my problems. My mind goes all jumbled when I see you and I can’t think properly. What you do to me in insane! <3 You make me so happy! I’m am so lucky to have met you! <3

Having you in my life is the best thing that has happened to me in so long! You make me so incredibly happy.
I feel like shit for what happened tonight and I need to pick my words more carefully. I really hope we can move past this and have this relationship grow<3
I am so sorry hunnycakes :P :)

Tonight <3

Tonight was absolutely amazing

The music was live

The club was hype

and on top of all that

you were there <3<3<3<3

O boy… <3

I was at that point where I didn’t think I could ever like someone again. Broken and hurt, i felt like I was unwanted and didn’t want anything new. Then you came along and are allowing me to see past all of this and start again. Boys can be dicks sometimes, but you are not one of them. You are amazing. That is the only way I can think to describe you. You care about me and make me feel like everything is right in the world. Even though you may be a little shy, when you open up its incredible. I hope that this continues and moves into something more.

I’m starting to fall and I like it.